Bye Week Randomness/PAY ME!

...No seriously, bring me your money if you haven't paid yet.  You know who you are I don't need to remind you. 

In lieu of our off week and me being bored at work, I figured we would re-visit some of my all-time favorite posts and game recaps.  Enjoy.


Here is one of the first ever game recaps done way back in 2008, back when team members actually cared to contribute recaps.  I call this one TRAV THE MARXIST. 


Here is another one done by someone other than myself.  I call this one HONESTLY, MILLER HAS TO BE BI-SEXUAL.


The first (and only) poetic recap.  I call this A-POEM ABOUT A-TEAM.


I'm pretty sure all of Nord's recaps will make the list.  I call this one 4 TO 3 AIN'T BAD.


This one I call RANDOM LENGTH AP WIRE.


For obvious reasons, I call this one FUCK YES.


I believe this one was prior to the start of the 2010 Football and Hockey seasons.  UNREAL.


This is a recap from the first time we played against 1 Mohawk, 0 Girlfriends - or as he is currently known "2 Spare Tires, 0 Girlfriends."  1M0G.  And then our game against them in the playoffs that year.  COUGARS IS A STUPID NAME.


A satirical fairytale recap.  LITTLE DOUBLE AND THE SEVEN SCORES.


One of the all-time bests  Nordo again.  THE LAST JOKE.


Season/Team preview for Summer 2010.


This game we played while most of us were at the STP show:  Stone Temple Recap.


See you dudes in a couple weeks.

GAME RECAP: UPDATE

Thanks to Mace I now know that Chris had two goals.

In case you dudes didn't know you can access the stats/results page under "links" on the main blog page (follow the link at the bottom of your email if you're receiving the post in that manner).

You can also follow the link here: Stats/Results

GAME RECAP: 3/25/2011 VS. BEEF SUPREME @ BUTLER DEK

I'm done doing full recaps for losing efforts, not worth the time.  We lost 9-5 to the Lesbi brothers and their band of butt pirates.  The new joke league started the game 10 minutes early.  By the time Nordo and I arrived we were already down 2-0.  Whatever.

Let me know what I'm missing:

Chad - 1 goal
Tim - 1 goal
Dougy - 1 goal
Chris - 1 goal
Kev - 2 assists
Benny - 1 assist
Mace - goal??

I can't remember who had the fifth goal - nor do I recall who all had assists.  Let me know dudes.

We have a bye next week.  See you dudes in two weeks.  If you have not paid me yet bring your cash.

Drink bitches...

GAME RECAP: 3/19/11 VS A BUNCH OF TOOLS @ BUTLER DEK

Sorry for the delayed and weak recap dudes, I've had a busy week.

We lost 3-2 in OT to a bunch of jokes because we couldn't score on them.  Dougy played well in net - the 3 goals that they scored were all a result of our mistakes in our own zone.

Seth and Marky scored our goals because they were doing work.  Good show fellas.

Next game is in less than 24 hours - Friday night at 9pm.  Hope we can all make it.  

Bring me money if you haven't paid.   Who has ref fees??

GAME RECAP: 3/12/2011 VS Camo Cougars @ Butler Dek

This was one of those games that really make you appreciate the fact that we play in C league.  Yes, the eternal deusch bag "One-Mohawk, Zero Girlfriends"was on the team.  He's fucking huge now.  His new name should be "Zero Mohawks, 3 Spare Tires."  And yes it was a very choppy game with lots of bitching, harsh words, and taunting - but these are supposed to be fun, no?

We had a few late comers but it didn't matter, the game started 15 minutes late because their goalie was the ref from the previous game.  We were going to have only one referee and it could have proved costly - but Banks was released from jail just in time to give the other dude assistance.

We came out flying early and after multiple chances we finally scored first.  We then took a two goal lead and never once trailed in the game.

Shoup played a great game in net, don't let the 6 goals fool you.  They definitely had their chances.  Travis and Mace are beginning to find their places on the team.  Travis had some sick defensive plays and Mace was playing like a true center, distributing in the offensive zone and back-checking like crazy.

They tied the game twice in the second and then we once again pulled away by two goals going up 5-3 heading into the third period.

Kev had a dirty shift in the third along the boards by our bench.  He was being hounded by some ogre dude and spent like 20 seconds playing from his knees and his back.  You don't realize how much you miss dudes playing D like that until an unreal shift like that happens.  Shreck was non-stop but Kev held tight and eventually cleared the ball.

Dougy got crushed along the boards at one point and Trav tried to start shit.  Nothing.  There were a few penalties for random trips, roughing, interference, etc. - and then that shit head "Zero Mohawks, 3 Spare Tires" took the ball around the back of his own net and while I attempted to lift his stick he bought it and allowed me to smack him in the face.  Some old ho from the stands starting bitching about the play being dirty.  If she hadn't spent her life watching soap operas and sucking dick for Zima she would have some understanding of hockey.  Anyway, the pansy bleeds and I get a double MAJOR penalty.  I didn't even know those existed in Dek Hockey.

The clock manager forgot to start the clock and I ended up serving like 3 minutes instead of two, but the worst part of the situation was that they ended up scoring two goals and tying the game at 5 with 6 or 7 minutes to go in the third.

The tie was short lived though.  Dougy had set me up on the door step for a "can't miss" goal earlier in the game and he once again worked his shit in the offensive zone, feeding Nordo a beauty in the slot for us to once again take the lead.

We held the lead for a few minutes and it was seeming that we were well on our way to our second win in as many games.  Unfortunately we then took a penalty and with less than a minute remaining in the game we were short-handed.  Their power-play didn't last long.  There was a face-off that resulted in Shoup covering it, and on the resulting face-off they won it to the point and blasted a shot through a screen past Shoup.  Shit.

With like 50 seconds left the game was once again tied, this time at 6.  I don't remember exactly how it happened but somehow we ended up 3 on 3.  Nordo made a good defensive play and got it to me at the line.  I dumped it across dek for Trav to track it down.  Obviously he wind-sprinted and was the first to the ball.  He made a play out of the corner, I parked in front of the net, I think Nordo got it there and off of the rebound I squeezed it through the goalie's pads.  7-6 fucking BMSPHC with 23 seconds to go.

Unfortunately we got an unsportsmanlike penalty because of our taunting actions following that goal, but we held on for the win.

Fuck yeah fellas.

I think I'm accurate on the stats but let me know if i'm missing something or if something is in error:

Kev - 2 assists
Dougy - 2 assists
Trav - 1 assist
Nordo - 1 goal, 1 assist
Chad - 1 goal
Tim - 4 goals

I'm fucked up on the score again aren't I?  What the hell.  I need to start keeping score at the game.  Was the final score 7-6 or 6-5???  If we did indeed score 7 who had the seventh goal? Assist?  Someone scored from the point I think.  Who was it?  Shit.  Oh well, I updated what we have.  I see you whores next week @ 4:00.

GAME RECAP: 3/4/11 VS TAYLOR GANG @ BUTLER DEK

It's good to kick-off a new session with a solid win over a bunch of punks.  Last session we lost to these little funkers because of the freckle-faced, red-headed step child who wears a helmet and kisses his sister/girlfriend.

As I recall from last session, someone was either thrown out of the game or almost fought the bitch after the game.  It was good to see him flustered and unable to penetrate our stellar D last night.

We were joined by two new dudes who contributed brilliantly, and also two past members who showed us how much we missed them.

Dougy was stellar in net once again, Benny showed the punk bitch what it was like to be a man, and Chad Scuderi portrayed his offensive skills.

As usual though controversy follows the Random Length/UCHC/BMSP hockey franchise and we were asked to leave the dek afterward on the account of having open containers.  Whatever.  I'll bring beers again next week.

The game wasn't exciting enough to do a full recap so we'll keep it shortened.  Trav missed a penalty shot.  I thought the game was over after two periods and I tried to shake hands.  Travis can't decide if he's left or right handed and it works to his advantage.  Kev scraped his elbow.

Goals:
Trav X 3
Nordy
Chad
Tim

And only now did I realize that I had the score at 6-3 above but we actually had 7 goals.  Did they have 3 or am I wrong there as well?????  Who effing knows.

I have no idea who had assists so I'm only going to track goals this session.  We need a statistician.

I'll see you bitches next week.

Reminder: Game this week/League Fees

What's up dudes.  Just a quick reminder that our first game is this Friday the 4th VS Taylor Gang.  Please bring a red shirt and your league fees.  Below is the update roster:

Tim Jr.
Trav Reges
Benny
Dougy
Nordo
Chad
Seth
Shoup
Marky
Eric
Travis
Kev
Travis' Friend
Phil

Looks like a fucking winner...

$412/14 players = $29.43/person.  See you there.  I'll bring some beers to celebrate our first win of the new session.