GAME RECAP: 8/31/2010 Vs. Team Zoltan

'SHOOTOUT'

On a night where 75% of the UCHC squad were getting their faces rocked by STP (as long as you were not on the lawn or stage right in the pavilion), the Brewster bros. pulled their resources bringing in a few worthy substitutions - unfortunately the end result was a shootout loss, their second loss of the season.

It would be a SIN not to make mention the job of the Brewster Bros. this session.  Without them we're easily sitting at 2-6 instead of 6-2.  Just when the team seemed DEAD AND BLOATED with NO WAY OUT, the Brewster Bros. were PLUSH in their efforts to pull a squad out of the WICKED GARDEN that is the Butler Twp. Dek, and they did so with a BIG BANG BABY.

Team Zoltan has a decent record so they knew from the onset that this was going to be a TUMBLE IN THE ROUGH.  Dougy was cool like a LOUNGE FLY, while Benny was acting UNGLUED.  They were as nervous as a CRACKERMAN with NO MEMORY.

"I'll RIDE THE CLICHE...," stated Benny, "and say we're going to PRESS PLAY, play hard, and go after them like SEVEN CAGED TIGERS who have just been let loose."  Dougy took a deep breathe.  "It smells like SEX & VIOLENCE here today gentlemen."  A horrid fellow from Team Zoltan responded "yeah, like last night when I WET MY BED."  "They're going DOWN." Benny quietly responded. 

It was a WONDERFUL game.  There are few DAYS OF THE WEEK that rival that of a Dek hockey showdown in front of a BIG EMPTY set of bleachers (except for maybe CHURCH ON TUESDAY or a NAKED SUNDAY).  UCHC played like ARMY ANTS controlling the play for most of the game.  "A win is going to be like a PIECE OF PIE," Benny thought to himself.   

That was until some CREEP from Team Zoltan called for his hot sister DAISY to stand behind their goalie to enjoy the action.  She acted like an ART SCHOOL GIRL but was definitely a SOUR GIRL.  Benny and Doug were able to keep it BETWEEN THE LINES, but the Dek Rat subs were overwhelmed by DUMB LOVE.

Daisy had CINNAMON hair and she left the UCHC subs in a HAZY DAZE.  Dek Rat # 1 whispered to Benny, "I'm going to finish this game as FAST AS I CAN to TAKE A LOAD OFF and get my FIRST KISS ON MARS with Daisy."

Benny responded, "it's just a LADY PICTURE SHOW you dumbass, this is not a SEX TYPE THING!!"  It was too late.  There were thoughts of VASOLINE running through the Dek Rat's mind, it was void of anything hockey related, a BIG EMPTY if you will.

"I GOT YOU!" Doug yelled to Benny as he could sense his frustration with the debacle that was about to unfold, but again it was too little too late.  Dek Rat was in a COMA of love for that HOLLYWOOD BITCH and the chances of victory were BLACK AGAIN.   

UCHC held on and the game went to a shootout.  Doug felt like a SILVERGUN SUPERMAN in net and was excited to get home to his PRETTY PENNY and receive his victory kiss.  Some dude MEATPLOWed him and they scored 1 goal on 5 shots, but it STILL REMAINS that the Dek Rats were stuck on Daisy like ADHESIVE love.  She was a TOO COOL QUEENIE.  Their bodies were in Butler but their minds may as well have been in ATLANTA.  UCHC prepared for their INTERSTATE LOVE SONG on the LONG WAY HOME, because they responded by scoring zero goals. 

3-2 UCHC loses in a shootout.

Next week's game is at 11:00am.  Curt and Nord you both have played 3 games this session. You will need to have played in at least 4 games by the start of the playoffs in order to participate so if you plan on playing in the post season do your best to make the game this week. 

Marky and Eric you can still play this week but you will not be permitted to play in the playoffs.  Sucks I know.

A couple of the guys who played last weekend are possibly going to play with us next session and Benny said that they are decent.  Also Goldie and Shoup said they are returning next session.  Is everyone else planning on playing?  Let me know soon so that I can contact Rick and get us registered.

Sadly, we never did take a photo for the Mario Mosaic.  Summer session is just too hectic.  We still contributed our goals to a worthy cause so take what you want from that.

I updated as much stats as I could and updated the results page.  Go to the link below to access those pages if you're interested.

Also, the Hattz League Golf Scramble is this coming Sunday for those of you who will be in town.  Be at Hiland at 9:45am Sunday morning.

See you dudes on Saturday and/or Sunday.

GAME RECAP: 8/21/201 Vs. Flamming (sic) Todds

No, our opponent's name in the title is not misspelled, at least according to the Butler Dek Hockey website.  The FLAMMING Todds, instead of the Flaming Todds i'm guessing, were unlucky enough to face a UCHC squad with 1 sub - a rarity, I know.

The regular squad was amazed when they realized that not only were we going to have a guy on the bench, but this guy will actually be one of our own.  Good things were bound to happen. 

The Flammers were similar to us, although a few years older and about 400 pounds heavier.  You could tell they were just a bunch of beer drinking buddies who wanted to play hockey so as to not add barley weight to their already hefty behinds.

Steve, the "other" ref was their best player, so Mark had to handle the officiating duties solo (which was badass - 1 penalty because the ball got stuck in Seth's glove and a lot more subjectivity when pertaining to icing calls, it was nice).

From the opening face-off we knew that to win this game all that we had to do was keep up the pressure and speed, and sneak a few in behind their keeper. 

A few minutes into the first period Tim and Benny are controlling the ball in the offensive zone.  Benny fires a nice shot that is saved by the goalie, leaving a nice fat rebound for Tim to smack by him and into the goal.   1-0 UCHC.

Nordo was in unreal form.  Making moves and passes that are rarely seen in C league.  Somewhere near the end of the first or early in the second, he and Tim break in on a 2 on 1.  Pulling a spin-o-rama-curl-and-drag-between-the-legs-backhand pass Nordo slides it across the dek to where only Tim could play it. Forsberg shed a tear.  Goal, 2-0 UCHC.

UCHC took a 3-0 lead with a few minutes remaining in the second on a nice play by Chad.  Chad carried the ball into the offensive zone from his defensive position, made a great play in the corner to keep the ball in the zone, made a sick (the good sick) pass to Tim which nearly went in for a goal, then caressed the rebound himself and tucked it in the net.  There was some speculation that Tim snaked the goal from Chad as he slid into the crease to knock the ball in as it was slowly rolling across the goal line, but under immediate review Tim concluded that the ball was indeed already beyond the line - he was merely making sure that the goalie/defenseman did not make a play on it.  Check the audio.

Uncomfortable Chocolate were feeling very comfortable with a 3-0 lead heading into the third.  As long as we could hold them to a few long distance shots and play tight defense we would finish the day with a win. 

Sadly, we once again fell short in getting Dougy a shutout.  Off of a deflected pass that ended up on a Flamming Todds player's stick -

-they finally get one by Doug.  3-1 UCHC.

No worries, we'll just sit back and defend a little better - SHIT! again! - defensive lapse.  3-2 UCHC.

The game was now a little more interesting - so the Todd's took a time-out to rest their tired asses.  The bad thing for them was that we also rested our tired asses.  

Ball brought into our zone.  Misplay at the point.  Tim takes advantage.  1 v 1 with the goalie.   Five-hole. Game. 

Yes, I know, surprising to say the least that Tim scored on a breakaway, but it happened.

Steve the ref did score on a blast from the point with like 16 seconds remaining, but it was too little, too late.  UCHC held on for the win, their sixth of the season.     

Now at 6-1 on the season that win assures that we stay in a tie for second place out of the 32 teams in the C league.  Beef Supreme, who we should have beaten when we played them earlier in the season (recap here), played in the game before us and won in a shoot-out.  They remain undefeated and alone at the top of the standings. 

We have two games remaining in the regular season.  Next week's game is at 10:00PM and the following week's game is at 11:00AM.

 Curt, Nordo, and myself will be at the STP show next Saturday so we are out.  Chad said he is also out.  Anyone else unable to make it?  Marky, hopefully you and Eric are available to play, we could use you.  Please let me know if you can be there or not so that we can make plans to bring in some players if need be. 

Also, since we are scoring so many goals this session I decreased the amount we are giving to charity.  Instead of us giving $3/goal like last session, I decreased it to $2/goal.  I don't foresee any objections but if you disagree please speak up.

Benny I just got your text about next session.  I'm all for it, we could use a few more guys.  Also while we're on it, Shoup (you are still getting these posts right?) are you playing next session?  Maybe you and Dougy can do a platoon in goal.  I'll let you dudes figure that out but you are an integral part of the Random Lengths/UCHC squad and we would like to have you back.

Benny, any chance a couple of those guys would be willing/able to play this weekend?

Oh, a quick note about the dude pictured in the score template above.  I searched far and wide for "flamming" (or flaming) todd but came up empty.  It must be an inside joke.  Anyway, I did find Todd Flaming (bio here) and pictured above.  He's a lawyer, and judging by his picture, a very sly one - or a very hilarious one.  Also check out the face on the kitten in the background of the other picture.  It's horrfied.  So awesome.

Stats and Results updated.  Click the link below if you're reading this via email to go to the site.  Take it easy Brosephs. 

Are We Still Playing Hockey?

Holy hell it feels like a long time since I set foot on the dek.  Can't wait to be back out there this weekend.

Game is at 4:00 pm on Saturday.

Marky will you and Eric be attending or will you already be partaking in Heathen Fest?

If we don't go up to Jul's camp after the game we'll be over for awhile.

Benny what are we up to now?  An additional $13 from last game added on to the $8 that I still owed you?  Let me know.

If anyone will not be at the game please let me know.  Thanks dudes.  See you saturday.

GAME RECAP: 8/7/2010 VS. Predators

UCHC faced a familiar foe this past weekend - battling also B league defunct "Predators," see last session's recap here.

The team once again consisted of only three players - the Brewster brothers and Seth, with a large majority of us frolicking in Put-In-Bay.

Seth had an unreal goal and two assists, and Benny added his first two sick goals of the year and an assist of his own.  

Team manager has made a decision to move Benny to forward for the remainder of the season.  

Bye this weekend, and then we're back to it the following weekend.  Hopefully we'll have move dudes show up.  

Take it easy boyos.

Stats updated.

Game Recap: 7/31/2010 VS BMC

Since I missed the 7/31 game as a result of taking my boys and dog camping with the wife (which went very well), and because I have only heard bits and pieces of what happened (including the most important, being the game winning goal), this recap should be short and sweet. 

We had only one sub.  That sub, although not being the same sub as the week before, showed up at just about the same time as the week's prior sub - late - which he would later totally redeem himself.  More on that later.

From what I remember - the squad was Benny, Doug, Nord, Curt, Dek Rat Mark, and Seth. 

The game was very evenly matched.  These dudes may turn out to be our doppelgangers.  Supposedly they had a above average goalie, a tall kid with good skills who wears camo sweat-shorts, a stout defenseman, a guy who looks like Beck, a rock singer, a scandinavian, a guitarist, a dude that drives a big truck, and a slacker with long hair. 

Side note:  remember how when we first joined the league way back in 2007 how badly Mark the Ref and his cronies hated us?  Curt and I were talking about this the other day.  Those were fun times.  That first session I think we only played 2 games to the final whistle, the rest were stopped early for fear of a bench-clearing brawl.  Anyway, BMC (what does that stand for by the way) seems to be all buddy, buddy with us now - but, them being our doppelgangers and all, hopefully this is the start to a fierce rivalry.  I miss those days.

Back to the game.  Apparently we were down 3-2 late in the game.  Someone scored, Curt couldn't remember who it was so it definitely was not him, and then Seth (who showed up mid-way through the first period) scored a sick goal from his knees to ice the game with less than 2 minutes remaining.

So far I have Curt with 1 assist and Seth with 1 goal.

Who scored the rest?

See you boys in two weeks, Benny or Seth let me know how I can get the ref fees to you for this weekend. 

Remember that next week we have bye # 2. 

Keep it real brothers.