"B"ecause We Suck

Not going to do much of a recap of this Sunday's game.  We're terrible.  Our north/south style of play does not translate well into the B league.  We're trying to take everything right at these teams and they're making us look silly for doing so.  This group of little kids that we played on Sunday has always given us headaches, but we were normally at least IN the game - not losers by 10+ goals. 

If someone can think of something positive that we can take from the game please let me know (except for Trav's leaping goal, that was sick). 

We should change our team name and logo:

Hahahahahaha....nah, we're not that bad yet. 

See you dudes at this week's game, hopefully we can make it close.  Let me know if you will not be there.  Thanks.

Stats are updated:
Trav 2 goals
Nordy 1 assist
Tim 1 assist

Go Pens.  

"B"eautiful Mess

We'll blame the coming in of Trout season and happily married couples on this loss.  Barely able to field a legal team, UCHC dropped another stinker. 

Brewster, Scuderi, Nordo, and Tim were the only members in attendence.  Brewster's brother Doug was going to fill in for Shoup in goal, but a game-time decision was made to bring in the back-up (the dude with the long hair who is always there, Lambeau...Lambo...whatever his name is) which allowed Doug to play a non-goalie position. 

The Predators struck early and often - scoring 4 goals in the first period.  UCHC answered with one of their own when Nordo made a sickening between the legs foot pass to a steaking Tim, who beat the goalie on the low stick side.

This team was full of familiar homos foes.  Ugly Ref was playing defense.  Taylor Hossa was acting like he invented hockey.  That one kid that wears a face-shielded helmet was stick-handling all over the place - even when no one was defending him.  That Ben dude with the huge ass was checking me all game, once hitting me hard enough on a delayed off-sides call that it knocked my skull cap and beanie off of my head.  Another time, on another delayed off-sides call where the ball was up for grabs and although I cheated and closed my hand over the ball, he jarred it loose for an incomplete pass.  That dude sucks at hockey, but he's pretty good at throwing his large ass around - legal or not - gay or not.  And finally our good pal Rick, the owner, was doing his best impression of a 50-year old guy trying to play hockey with a bunch of 20 and 30 year olds. 

With only one sub -  actually playing the game was merely delaying the inevitable "L" in the wins/losses column - but I thought we played pretty well considering. 

Tim and Doug hooked up mid-way through the second to bring the score to 7-2, and then Chad fed Nordo a nice dish late in the third to bring our total to 3.  The Predators ended with 9, so on paper the game does not seem close, but the paper doesn't always tell the full story. 

Benny played a good game both up top and in the back, and Lambow (?) made some decent saves.  We had a quite a few opportunities to score but could not quite find the back of the net, quite.  Tim had many opportunities to find Nordo but effed up time and again.

Next week we play NOBODY @ 1:00, which if i'm remembering correctly is a team of little bitches.  They are currently 1-2.  We are 0-4. 

Picnic at my place after the game.  Stats updated.  Go Pens.

GAME REMINDER

Reminder of the game this week at 3:00pm.  Are we going to have enough dudes to sport a team? 

I know for sure that Curt, Trav, Goldie, Shoup, and I believe Nordo are out this week. 

Anyone going fishing and not going to be able to make it?  Have your grandma's birthday to attend?  Laser eye surgery? 

Please let us know BEFORE Sunday if you will not be there.  So far it's Brewster, Brewster's Bro, and myself playing - we would like to know if it's worth our time to show up.  Thanks dudes.

UNREAL: 2.0

The following is a continuation of this post.  Mario be with you.

The winter has passed and the air is warm.  The Man, "Disco" they call him, has weathered the storm.  He is now preparing for the incredible journey, the excellent adventure, the sweet ride.  Once again he has led his men into the second season.  His black counterpart failed to do so - a team now in turmoil.

Disco himself has dealt with adversity.  His men suffered.  He suffered.  His city suffered.  None of that matters.  The second season begins anew.  What was witnessed by onlookers for the past 6 months no longer applies.  It's zero-zero.  Disco stands, head down, resting his clenched-fists on his desk.  His knuckes are bleeding from striking the wall behind him.  "Trap."  The word rolls through his mind like rockslide.  He feels as if he's in a cage.  With no escape.  The walls are closing in on him as darkness overtakes the room.  "What will it take?"  he breathes, teeth clenched.  The air in the room is escaping.  Disco gasps for air, but the resounding force is overwhelming.  Trap.  Disco sits, preparing for an early exit.  There IS no escape.  He and his men cannot solve it.  The end of the road draws near.  An unattainable goal lies ahead, with no answer how to reach it.  Disco's head hits the now blood-stained desk.  With no chance why continue?  Disco is prepared now for the inevitable early departure.  His eyes slowly close as he slips into post-season hibernation....but then, as he lay there on his desk his eyes see something: 

"We'll be just fine."

DO. THIS. SHIT. 

   

"B" Stands for BAD

Losing to underage deuschbags stings.  Losing to "dek rats" who claim to be huge hockey fans, but are hanging out at the dek instead of watching the Pen's game also stings.  Going 0-4 to start our first season in the B league when we had such high hopes stings like a staff infection, on your penis.  But just think about how great that first win will feel if it ever when it comes. 

We lost to the Butler High School JV team.  They play and practice together 6 times a week and have just completed their season.  They're in shape, in form, and inbred.  Who cares.  We are a bunch of older dudes that just want to have a slightly competetive good time playing hockey, drink beer, and laugh at dudes who wear basketball shorts with pockets.  Like Nordo said, "there needs to be a D league." 

I don't mind sticking with the B league to see if we improve, but I also don't mind moving back to C league next session.  We'll re-evaluate our situation in a few weeks.

Oh, and on my high-sticking goal, it was a make-up call.  I WAS tripped going across the middle before I took the initial shot.  So there. 

I updated these stats:
Trav 1 goal 1 assist
Tim 2 goals
Hobaugh 1 goal
Nordo 1 assist
Final score 12-4?

Did I miss anything?  Let me know if so. 

We'll be shorthanded this coming week.  Benny's brother is going to play goal for us.  I have a few dudes that may be able to play.  Leave a comment if you will be there so we have an idea of how many guys we need. 

Later.    

April 25th Picnic?

If any of you dudes pay attention to the nice little game schedule on the right side of the page, you may have noticed that I have a team picnic scheduled for April 25th @ 3:00pm after our 1:00pm game.

Anyone interested in doing this? Just get together for some grilling, a few beers, a few laughs, and hopefully to celebrate a win?

The possibility of a Pens afternoon playoff game that day is very good as well.

Leave a comment, drop me an email, or tell me in person if this is something you would like to do and I'll plan on it.

Have a good rest of the week men, I'll see you Sunday.

Jesus? No, but close.

I'm sure you dudes have seen these or at least will be seeing them during the playoffs, but I thought you may as well enjoy a video during the off week.  Have a good Easter - unless you're Jewish...or atheist...or Muslim...if so, have a good weekend. 




And here is the video of the actual event.