GAME RECAP: 3/25/2011 VS. BEEF SUPREME @ BUTLER DEK

I'm done doing full recaps for losing efforts, not worth the time.  We lost 9-5 to the Lesbi brothers and their band of butt pirates.  The new joke league started the game 10 minutes early.  By the time Nordo and I arrived we were already down 2-0.  Whatever.

Let me know what I'm missing:

Chad - 1 goal
Tim - 1 goal
Dougy - 1 goal
Chris - 1 goal
Kev - 2 assists
Benny - 1 assist
Mace - goal??

I can't remember who had the fifth goal - nor do I recall who all had assists.  Let me know dudes.

We have a bye next week.  See you dudes in two weeks.  If you have not paid me yet bring your cash.

Drink bitches...

GAME RECAP: 3/19/11 VS A BUNCH OF TOOLS @ BUTLER DEK

Sorry for the delayed and weak recap dudes, I've had a busy week.

We lost 3-2 in OT to a bunch of jokes because we couldn't score on them.  Dougy played well in net - the 3 goals that they scored were all a result of our mistakes in our own zone.

Seth and Marky scored our goals because they were doing work.  Good show fellas.

Next game is in less than 24 hours - Friday night at 9pm.  Hope we can all make it.  

Bring me money if you haven't paid.   Who has ref fees??

GAME RECAP: 3/12/2011 VS Camo Cougars @ Butler Dek

This was one of those games that really make you appreciate the fact that we play in C league.  Yes, the eternal deusch bag "One-Mohawk, Zero Girlfriends"was on the team.  He's fucking huge now.  His new name should be "Zero Mohawks, 3 Spare Tires."  And yes it was a very choppy game with lots of bitching, harsh words, and taunting - but these are supposed to be fun, no?

We had a few late comers but it didn't matter, the game started 15 minutes late because their goalie was the ref from the previous game.  We were going to have only one referee and it could have proved costly - but Banks was released from jail just in time to give the other dude assistance.

We came out flying early and after multiple chances we finally scored first.  We then took a two goal lead and never once trailed in the game.

Shoup played a great game in net, don't let the 6 goals fool you.  They definitely had their chances.  Travis and Mace are beginning to find their places on the team.  Travis had some sick defensive plays and Mace was playing like a true center, distributing in the offensive zone and back-checking like crazy.

They tied the game twice in the second and then we once again pulled away by two goals going up 5-3 heading into the third period.

Kev had a dirty shift in the third along the boards by our bench.  He was being hounded by some ogre dude and spent like 20 seconds playing from his knees and his back.  You don't realize how much you miss dudes playing D like that until an unreal shift like that happens.  Shreck was non-stop but Kev held tight and eventually cleared the ball.

Dougy got crushed along the boards at one point and Trav tried to start shit.  Nothing.  There were a few penalties for random trips, roughing, interference, etc. - and then that shit head "Zero Mohawks, 3 Spare Tires" took the ball around the back of his own net and while I attempted to lift his stick he bought it and allowed me to smack him in the face.  Some old ho from the stands starting bitching about the play being dirty.  If she hadn't spent her life watching soap operas and sucking dick for Zima she would have some understanding of hockey.  Anyway, the pansy bleeds and I get a double MAJOR penalty.  I didn't even know those existed in Dek Hockey.

The clock manager forgot to start the clock and I ended up serving like 3 minutes instead of two, but the worst part of the situation was that they ended up scoring two goals and tying the game at 5 with 6 or 7 minutes to go in the third.

The tie was short lived though.  Dougy had set me up on the door step for a "can't miss" goal earlier in the game and he once again worked his shit in the offensive zone, feeding Nordo a beauty in the slot for us to once again take the lead.

We held the lead for a few minutes and it was seeming that we were well on our way to our second win in as many games.  Unfortunately we then took a penalty and with less than a minute remaining in the game we were short-handed.  Their power-play didn't last long.  There was a face-off that resulted in Shoup covering it, and on the resulting face-off they won it to the point and blasted a shot through a screen past Shoup.  Shit.

With like 50 seconds left the game was once again tied, this time at 6.  I don't remember exactly how it happened but somehow we ended up 3 on 3.  Nordo made a good defensive play and got it to me at the line.  I dumped it across dek for Trav to track it down.  Obviously he wind-sprinted and was the first to the ball.  He made a play out of the corner, I parked in front of the net, I think Nordo got it there and off of the rebound I squeezed it through the goalie's pads.  7-6 fucking BMSPHC with 23 seconds to go.

Unfortunately we got an unsportsmanlike penalty because of our taunting actions following that goal, but we held on for the win.

Fuck yeah fellas.

I think I'm accurate on the stats but let me know if i'm missing something or if something is in error:

Kev - 2 assists
Dougy - 2 assists
Trav - 1 assist
Nordo - 1 goal, 1 assist
Chad - 1 goal
Tim - 4 goals

I'm fucked up on the score again aren't I?  What the hell.  I need to start keeping score at the game.  Was the final score 7-6 or 6-5???  If we did indeed score 7 who had the seventh goal? Assist?  Someone scored from the point I think.  Who was it?  Shit.  Oh well, I updated what we have.  I see you whores next week @ 4:00.

GAME RECAP: 3/4/11 VS TAYLOR GANG @ BUTLER DEK

It's good to kick-off a new session with a solid win over a bunch of punks.  Last session we lost to these little funkers because of the freckle-faced, red-headed step child who wears a helmet and kisses his sister/girlfriend.

As I recall from last session, someone was either thrown out of the game or almost fought the bitch after the game.  It was good to see him flustered and unable to penetrate our stellar D last night.

We were joined by two new dudes who contributed brilliantly, and also two past members who showed us how much we missed them.

Dougy was stellar in net once again, Benny showed the punk bitch what it was like to be a man, and Chad Scuderi portrayed his offensive skills.

As usual though controversy follows the Random Length/UCHC/BMSP hockey franchise and we were asked to leave the dek afterward on the account of having open containers.  Whatever.  I'll bring beers again next week.

The game wasn't exciting enough to do a full recap so we'll keep it shortened.  Trav missed a penalty shot.  I thought the game was over after two periods and I tried to shake hands.  Travis can't decide if he's left or right handed and it works to his advantage.  Kev scraped his elbow.

Goals:
Trav X 3
Nordy
Chad
Tim

And only now did I realize that I had the score at 6-3 above but we actually had 7 goals.  Did they have 3 or am I wrong there as well?????  Who effing knows.

I have no idea who had assists so I'm only going to track goals this session.  We need a statistician.

I'll see you bitches next week.

GAME RECAP: 12/21/10 - C LEAGUE CHAMPIONSHIP GAME @ BUTLER DEK

Something just didn't feel right going into this game. 

Maybe it was because we had to win three playoff games in order to get here, a first for this organization. 

Maybe it was the return of Curtis from the IR.

Maybe it was because we were playing Rick's team.

Maybe it was the absence of the ever present Brewsters, support beams to this success we call a season.

Maybe it was the fact that this team had not a single player in our age range, only much younger and much older.

Whatever it was that didn't feel right the end result sure had a familiar feel.  We lost to a bunch of little snotty kids (and a few of their dads) in the playoffs.  When are they going to correct this and stop the insanity.  We have 37 teams in the C league.  Why not a "High School" league played on weeknights?  Whatev.

In this season of giving there are plenty of things to be thankful for regarding this session.

• Nordo discovered a very nice scoring touch, especially in big games.  Gamer?
• 3 roster additions; Ty, Phil, and Adam who played very key roles in the success of the team.  Ty and Phil have committed to extensions to their contracts - not sure about Adam, he was somewhat pissed by the whole "TAMMY" shirt thing. 
• Shoup had an unreal tear through the playoffs in net.  Nice work man.
• Did I mention that this is the farthest we have made it in the playoffs?
• Oh yeah, and there's that whole second place things too.

The championship game was a whole lot of falling and stalling with very little balling.  We struggled moving the ball into their zone most of the game which resulted in very few scoring chances.  The chances we did generate were easily turned aside by their above average goaltender.

We laughed, we cried, we bitched, we dived - we hung in there for awhile but the little bastards kept the pressure on and eventually snuck a few cheesy goals past Shoup.

I know we hit a few posts in there at one point, that on top of a few break-aways and a few more missed chances and I place the blame solely on our inability to score.

Oh well, good season, good times.

Look for an Awards post in the next week or so.

Next Session

Normally they take a couple month hiatus after the holidays before starting a new session.  If I owned the Dek and had 37 teams vying to play for one fraction of the scheduled games I would have league play as often as I could and roll (literally) in the cash money.  Maybe Rick's crazy.

I'll keep an eye on things and send and update as soon as I know what's up.

Happy Holidays dudes, I'll talk with you soon.



PLAYOFF GAME RECAP: 12/12/2010 VS. (ENTER TEAM NAME) @ Butler Dek

I was not in attendance for the rainy and cold Sunday morning playoff game so this will not be much of a recap.  We won a rain soaked, sloggy, soggy game 3-0 backed by a stellar shut-out effort in goal by Shoup and goals by Adam, Ty, and Phil.  Nice work boys!

UPDATE:  Hahaha, I just received a text from Rick!  Our game this Saturday is at 5:00PM.

Please let me know if you will not be there.  Thanks dudes.  See you Saturday for round 2!  

 

GAME RECAP: 11/20 VS Predators @ Butler Dek

Ty recapped the game for us.  Did Pott, Who's this Dave, and Gavin play for us?

Figured I’d try my hand at a recap. We won 6-1. I believe I had 4 assists.

It was apparent from the start that the Predators would try to do justice to their name as several of them showed off their bulging 10” biceps with their cut-off shirts. Unfortunately for them their intimidation factor was actually a non-factor and they were outplayed from the drop of the ball. The dew on the rink made the game much slower than it would have been otherwise.

GAME RECAP: 11/13/2010 VS. Public Enemies @ Butler Dek

For what seemed like the 8th time out of 7 games we faced off against an opponent who also wore the color red.  And once again we were required to wear the "alternative."  Luckily everyone had a different colored shirt to fall back on so we weren't stuck wearing stupid pinnies.

GAME RECAP: 11/6/2010 VS. Enforcers @ Butler Dek

What a difference a season makes.  Last session we rolled along barely losing two games.

This session we struggled from the start and we are still sitting on one win.

We are dealing with some injuries and are still dealing with some attendance issues but that is the reason why we added a few extra guys this session.  At least we haven't had a game where only 2 or 3 guys show up.

We had one sub for our game Vs. The Enforcers.  They were a very beatable team and if we would have had more than one sub we probably would have taken them down.  

All-in-all though it was an entertaining game.  We jumped out to an early lead on a goal by Ty.  They eventually tied it at 1 and then took a 2-1 lead.

The score stayed this way for half of a period until we tied it, and then took the lead 3-2 early in the third.

The score remained 3-2 us until a 3v3 situation turned sour and they scored 2 goals in a span of 2 minutes.

If we play these dudes 10 times with a few subs, we win 9 times - unfortunately that is how this season has gone.

Our game this week is at 4:00pm and I'm assuming we'll be short men once again.  A few guys are still on the IR and it is the last day of archery season so I'm sure we'll have a few hunters taking advantage of their last opportunity in the woods. 

Sorry about the lack of updates this session.  I missed the first few games and totally lost a grip on the website.  I haven't updated the stats page or the results page at all.  

If you know your stats for the session send them my way and I will update the sheet.  Goals, assists, and games played is all that I will need.  If not, no biggy.  I'll be sure to keep up on it the rest of the way.

Take it easy dudes.

Game this week @ Butler Dek - 1:00pm

Hey dudes.  Quick reminder that we have a game this Saturday at 1:00pm.  Hope to see you all there.  If you have not paid me please bring your money.  Same goes if you have not paid Curt.  I believe we will finally have our uniforms for this week's game.

I didn't get a chance to do a recap for last game.  If you were not there we won.  Phil had an HT, Nordo scored two, Dougy played well in net.

There are a few guys who check their Facebook status more frequently than their email so I set up a Facebook page for the team.  I only added those of your with whom I am friends.  If anyone else has Facebook hit me up and I'll add you to the group.  

Take it easy Brosephs - I'll see you this weekend.

GAME RECAP: 9/4/2010 Vs. Aztecs @ Butler Dek

UCHC finished their regular season return to the C league in grand fashion, winning on a goal with less than a minute to play versus Azetcs.  UCHC's first round draft pick for next session Ty Oche scored the goal on a nice play by one-time sub Coach Sean.

According to Rick the playoffs will take place over the course of the next three weeks.  The next session will most likely begin the first or second week of October.  

It was a fairly even-matched game versus Aztecs.  They had a few decent players that were able to sneak a few shots past Doug.  We had the lead for the majority of the game leading by as much as two at one point, only to let Aztecs back into it to tie the score at 5 late in the third period.

I'm unfortunately not in recap mood right now, so you'll have to deal with a condensed version.

Curt had three assists.

Ty had at least 2 goals and probably a few assists.

Tim had 2 goals.

Nordo had an assist or two and played an unreal game on defense, he was everywhere.

Shoup may have had some points but I'm not sure. He played some badass defense though.

Dougy was his usual solid self.

Tim and Nord both broke sticks.

 Make sure you vote for team name, shirt color, and shirt style.  The post with the polls is here.

Since it is the end of the regular season it is also time for the awards.  Those awards that are determined by a vote have been voted on by the USDHA (United States Dek Hockey Association).

ART ROSS TROPHY - MOST POINTS IN THE REGULAR SEASON

Curtis Carothers (with only 4 games played mind you).

MAURICE ROCKET RICHARD TROPHY - MOST GOALS IN REGULAR SEASON

Tim Reges Jr. with 12 goals scored.

VEZINA - BEST GOALTENDER

Doug Brewster with a 3.88 GAA.

HART MEMORIAL - MOST VALUABLE TO HIS TEAM

Benny and Dougy Brewster.

JAMES NORRIS MEMORIAL TROPHY - BEST DEFENSEMAN

Chad Cranmer

LADY BYNG - BEST SPORTSMANSHIP AND GENTLEMANLY CONDUCT

Ben Brewster

FRANK J.SELKE TROPHY - FORWARD WHO BEST EXCELS IN DEFENSIVE ASPECTS.

Nordy Siljander

CALDER - MOST OUTSTANDING ROOKIE

Seth LeGrand

BILL MASTERSON MEMORIAL - SPORTSMANSHIP, PERSEVERANCE, AND DEDICATION

Doug Brewster.  Perfect attendance.

Congratulations to all of the winners.  I'll let you dudes know about the playoffs as soon as I have word.  Take it easy.  Go now and vote for the new team name!

GAME RECAP: 8/31/2010 Vs. Team Zoltan

'SHOOTOUT'

On a night where 75% of the UCHC squad were getting their faces rocked by STP (as long as you were not on the lawn or stage right in the pavilion), the Brewster bros. pulled their resources bringing in a few worthy substitutions - unfortunately the end result was a shootout loss, their second loss of the season.

It would be a SIN not to make mention the job of the Brewster Bros. this session.  Without them we're easily sitting at 2-6 instead of 6-2.  Just when the team seemed DEAD AND BLOATED with NO WAY OUT, the Brewster Bros. were PLUSH in their efforts to pull a squad out of the WICKED GARDEN that is the Butler Twp. Dek, and they did so with a BIG BANG BABY.

Team Zoltan has a decent record so they knew from the onset that this was going to be a TUMBLE IN THE ROUGH.  Dougy was cool like a LOUNGE FLY, while Benny was acting UNGLUED.  They were as nervous as a CRACKERMAN with NO MEMORY.

"I'll RIDE THE CLICHE...," stated Benny, "and say we're going to PRESS PLAY, play hard, and go after them like SEVEN CAGED TIGERS who have just been let loose."  Dougy took a deep breathe.  "It smells like SEX & VIOLENCE here today gentlemen."  A horrid fellow from Team Zoltan responded "yeah, like last night when I WET MY BED."  "They're going DOWN." Benny quietly responded. 

It was a WONDERFUL game.  There are few DAYS OF THE WEEK that rival that of a Dek hockey showdown in front of a BIG EMPTY set of bleachers (except for maybe CHURCH ON TUESDAY or a NAKED SUNDAY).  UCHC played like ARMY ANTS controlling the play for most of the game.  "A win is going to be like a PIECE OF PIE," Benny thought to himself.   

That was until some CREEP from Team Zoltan called for his hot sister DAISY to stand behind their goalie to enjoy the action.  She acted like an ART SCHOOL GIRL but was definitely a SOUR GIRL.  Benny and Doug were able to keep it BETWEEN THE LINES, but the Dek Rat subs were overwhelmed by DUMB LOVE.

Daisy had CINNAMON hair and she left the UCHC subs in a HAZY DAZE.  Dek Rat # 1 whispered to Benny, "I'm going to finish this game as FAST AS I CAN to TAKE A LOAD OFF and get my FIRST KISS ON MARS with Daisy."

Benny responded, "it's just a LADY PICTURE SHOW you dumbass, this is not a SEX TYPE THING!!"  It was too late.  There were thoughts of VASOLINE running through the Dek Rat's mind, it was void of anything hockey related, a BIG EMPTY if you will.

"I GOT YOU!" Doug yelled to Benny as he could sense his frustration with the debacle that was about to unfold, but again it was too little too late.  Dek Rat was in a COMA of love for that HOLLYWOOD BITCH and the chances of victory were BLACK AGAIN.   

UCHC held on and the game went to a shootout.  Doug felt like a SILVERGUN SUPERMAN in net and was excited to get home to his PRETTY PENNY and receive his victory kiss.  Some dude MEATPLOWed him and they scored 1 goal on 5 shots, but it STILL REMAINS that the Dek Rats were stuck on Daisy like ADHESIVE love.  She was a TOO COOL QUEENIE.  Their bodies were in Butler but their minds may as well have been in ATLANTA.  UCHC prepared for their INTERSTATE LOVE SONG on the LONG WAY HOME, because they responded by scoring zero goals. 

3-2 UCHC loses in a shootout.

Next week's game is at 11:00am.  Curt and Nord you both have played 3 games this session. You will need to have played in at least 4 games by the start of the playoffs in order to participate so if you plan on playing in the post season do your best to make the game this week. 

Marky and Eric you can still play this week but you will not be permitted to play in the playoffs.  Sucks I know.

A couple of the guys who played last weekend are possibly going to play with us next session and Benny said that they are decent.  Also Goldie and Shoup said they are returning next session.  Is everyone else planning on playing?  Let me know soon so that I can contact Rick and get us registered.

Sadly, we never did take a photo for the Mario Mosaic.  Summer session is just too hectic.  We still contributed our goals to a worthy cause so take what you want from that.

I updated as much stats as I could and updated the results page.  Go to the link below to access those pages if you're interested.

Also, the Hattz League Golf Scramble is this coming Sunday for those of you who will be in town.  Be at Hiland at 9:45am Sunday morning.

See you dudes on Saturday and/or Sunday.

GAME RECAP: 8/21/201 Vs. Flamming (sic) Todds

No, our opponent's name in the title is not misspelled, at least according to the Butler Dek Hockey website.  The FLAMMING Todds, instead of the Flaming Todds i'm guessing, were unlucky enough to face a UCHC squad with 1 sub - a rarity, I know.

The regular squad was amazed when they realized that not only were we going to have a guy on the bench, but this guy will actually be one of our own.  Good things were bound to happen. 

The Flammers were similar to us, although a few years older and about 400 pounds heavier.  You could tell they were just a bunch of beer drinking buddies who wanted to play hockey so as to not add barley weight to their already hefty behinds.

Steve, the "other" ref was their best player, so Mark had to handle the officiating duties solo (which was badass - 1 penalty because the ball got stuck in Seth's glove and a lot more subjectivity when pertaining to icing calls, it was nice).

From the opening face-off we knew that to win this game all that we had to do was keep up the pressure and speed, and sneak a few in behind their keeper. 

A few minutes into the first period Tim and Benny are controlling the ball in the offensive zone.  Benny fires a nice shot that is saved by the goalie, leaving a nice fat rebound for Tim to smack by him and into the goal.   1-0 UCHC.

Nordo was in unreal form.  Making moves and passes that are rarely seen in C league.  Somewhere near the end of the first or early in the second, he and Tim break in on a 2 on 1.  Pulling a spin-o-rama-curl-and-drag-between-the-legs-backhand pass Nordo slides it across the dek to where only Tim could play it. Forsberg shed a tear.  Goal, 2-0 UCHC.

UCHC took a 3-0 lead with a few minutes remaining in the second on a nice play by Chad.  Chad carried the ball into the offensive zone from his defensive position, made a great play in the corner to keep the ball in the zone, made a sick (the good sick) pass to Tim which nearly went in for a goal, then caressed the rebound himself and tucked it in the net.  There was some speculation that Tim snaked the goal from Chad as he slid into the crease to knock the ball in as it was slowly rolling across the goal line, but under immediate review Tim concluded that the ball was indeed already beyond the line - he was merely making sure that the goalie/defenseman did not make a play on it.  Check the audio.

Uncomfortable Chocolate were feeling very comfortable with a 3-0 lead heading into the third.  As long as we could hold them to a few long distance shots and play tight defense we would finish the day with a win. 

Sadly, we once again fell short in getting Dougy a shutout.  Off of a deflected pass that ended up on a Flamming Todds player's stick -

-they finally get one by Doug.  3-1 UCHC.

No worries, we'll just sit back and defend a little better - SHIT! again! - defensive lapse.  3-2 UCHC.

The game was now a little more interesting - so the Todd's took a time-out to rest their tired asses.  The bad thing for them was that we also rested our tired asses.  

Ball brought into our zone.  Misplay at the point.  Tim takes advantage.  1 v 1 with the goalie.   Five-hole. Game. 

Yes, I know, surprising to say the least that Tim scored on a breakaway, but it happened.

Steve the ref did score on a blast from the point with like 16 seconds remaining, but it was too little, too late.  UCHC held on for the win, their sixth of the season.     

Now at 6-1 on the season that win assures that we stay in a tie for second place out of the 32 teams in the C league.  Beef Supreme, who we should have beaten when we played them earlier in the season (recap here), played in the game before us and won in a shoot-out.  They remain undefeated and alone at the top of the standings. 

We have two games remaining in the regular season.  Next week's game is at 10:00PM and the following week's game is at 11:00AM.

 Curt, Nordo, and myself will be at the STP show next Saturday so we are out.  Chad said he is also out.  Anyone else unable to make it?  Marky, hopefully you and Eric are available to play, we could use you.  Please let me know if you can be there or not so that we can make plans to bring in some players if need be. 

Also, since we are scoring so many goals this session I decreased the amount we are giving to charity.  Instead of us giving $3/goal like last session, I decreased it to $2/goal.  I don't foresee any objections but if you disagree please speak up.

Benny I just got your text about next session.  I'm all for it, we could use a few more guys.  Also while we're on it, Shoup (you are still getting these posts right?) are you playing next session?  Maybe you and Dougy can do a platoon in goal.  I'll let you dudes figure that out but you are an integral part of the Random Lengths/UCHC squad and we would like to have you back.

Benny, any chance a couple of those guys would be willing/able to play this weekend?

Oh, a quick note about the dude pictured in the score template above.  I searched far and wide for "flamming" (or flaming) todd but came up empty.  It must be an inside joke.  Anyway, I did find Todd Flaming (bio here) and pictured above.  He's a lawyer, and judging by his picture, a very sly one - or a very hilarious one.  Also check out the face on the kitten in the background of the other picture.  It's horrfied.  So awesome.

Stats and Results updated.  Click the link below if you're reading this via email to go to the site.  Take it easy Brosephs. 

GAME RECAP: 8/7/2010 VS. Predators

UCHC faced a familiar foe this past weekend - battling also B league defunct "Predators," see last session's recap here.

The team once again consisted of only three players - the Brewster brothers and Seth, with a large majority of us frolicking in Put-In-Bay.

Seth had an unreal goal and two assists, and Benny added his first two sick goals of the year and an assist of his own.  

Team manager has made a decision to move Benny to forward for the remainder of the season.  

Bye this weekend, and then we're back to it the following weekend.  Hopefully we'll have move dudes show up.  

Take it easy boyos.

Stats updated.

Game Recap: 7/31/2010 VS BMC

Since I missed the 7/31 game as a result of taking my boys and dog camping with the wife (which went very well), and because I have only heard bits and pieces of what happened (including the most important, being the game winning goal), this recap should be short and sweet. 

We had only one sub.  That sub, although not being the same sub as the week before, showed up at just about the same time as the week's prior sub - late - which he would later totally redeem himself.  More on that later.

From what I remember - the squad was Benny, Doug, Nord, Curt, Dek Rat Mark, and Seth. 

The game was very evenly matched.  These dudes may turn out to be our doppelgangers.  Supposedly they had a above average goalie, a tall kid with good skills who wears camo sweat-shorts, a stout defenseman, a guy who looks like Beck, a rock singer, a scandinavian, a guitarist, a dude that drives a big truck, and a slacker with long hair. 

Side note:  remember how when we first joined the league way back in 2007 how badly Mark the Ref and his cronies hated us?  Curt and I were talking about this the other day.  Those were fun times.  That first session I think we only played 2 games to the final whistle, the rest were stopped early for fear of a bench-clearing brawl.  Anyway, BMC (what does that stand for by the way) seems to be all buddy, buddy with us now - but, them being our doppelgangers and all, hopefully this is the start to a fierce rivalry.  I miss those days.

Back to the game.  Apparently we were down 3-2 late in the game.  Someone scored, Curt couldn't remember who it was so it definitely was not him, and then Seth (who showed up mid-way through the first period) scored a sick goal from his knees to ice the game with less than 2 minutes remaining.

So far I have Curt with 1 assist and Seth with 1 goal.

Who scored the rest?

See you boys in two weeks, Benny or Seth let me know how I can get the ref fees to you for this weekend. 

Remember that next week we have bye # 2. 

Keep it real brothers.

GAME RECAP: 7/24/201 VS. K-OSS

Once again UCHC found themselves manning the heat with 1 sub (which only showed up after the first period) - but once again they managed to slug out a win.  If you're thinking to yourself "K-OSS is a terrible name and they must be a bunch of punk, deucshy kids,"  well, you're right.

Doug was in goal.  Chad and Benny were in front of him, and Tim and dek rat Mark were up top.  Things started out well as UCHC took an early 2 goal lead.

Shit was HOT!  Had to be low to mid-ninety degree temperatures on the dek.  Us, being the elder and less in shape players on the dek simply took it like men.  K-OSS on the other hand bitched the entire time to the point where we lost all respect for them as humans.  In more ways than one, i'm embarrassed for their parents.

K-OSS had the lead 5-4 when Curt finally decided to show up and give us a sub.  Shortly after we took the lead and never looked back.

Although it was a high scoring affair, us winning 10-7 - it was a somewhat boring game.  That up until the final 2 minutes of the third period where there were 5 minor penalties handed out.  The game ended with Curt being threatened with a lawsuit by the shittiest kid in all of Butler County.  I don't mean shitty when referring to his playing, he was probably their best player.  I simply mean shitty in all matters human; physically, mentally, and emotionally.  This kid's uncle must have caused come K-OSS in his bum when he was young.  He was a piece of work.  And after all of his threatening and bitching, he quickly left the dek with his sister-girlfriend-she-beast and fled the scene.

MVP goes to Benny...and I guess Curt for keeping their cool during that ordeal (Curt DID blast the kid's stick out of his hands, but he didn't punch him in the face).

This is what I think the stats were:

Tim 4 goals, 2 assists
Curt 4 goals, 1 assist
Chad 4 assists
Benny 2 assists
Mark everything else.

Game is at 2:00PM next Saturday.  Let me know if you will not be there.  See you then fellas.

GAME RECAP: 7/17/2010 VS Quick Stops

What the hell happened dudes?  Only three guys showed up for the game, did we communicate this with each other?  When this happens it really leaves the dudes that did show up in a shitty situation.  Luckily they were able to find some guys to play - but if not they waste a trip to the dek only to have to forfeit.  I would be pissed.

We have two options to prevent this from happening yet again.  We either 1) ask 20 dudes to play next session so that we always have enough guys to play.  This without considering a single complaint for lack of playing time.  Or 2) we be sure to always inform the team if we will or will not be there PRIOR to gameday.  This way we have time to find replacement players.

I understand that things come up, people are busy, and plans change.  Just be courteous to your fellow teammates and let someone know.  Thanks fellas.  See you this weekend.

In case you didn't read it, the following was left by Benny following the game as a comment on the Austria post:



U.C.H.C. had only 3 players show up.

Quick stops arrived in masses with a total of 9!

They were arrogant enough, though, to let us pick up a deck rat, joe, (who had to take himself out of the game after the 1st period and replace himself with yet another deck rat [mark]) and one of the refs (steve claypoole) played for us to make a complete line and keep the U.C.H.C. from a forfeit. Things looked grimm...

I can't make an entire recap, cuz, well, there was too much sweat in my eyes to see the whole thing happen. But, in the end, our own chad cranmer scored his first goal of he session along with 2 from steve and 3 from D.R. Mark. While their first goal was pretty soft, they only managed to sneak 2 more behind the defense and into the net.

That's right...

The U.C.H.C. won it 6-3!

Now if we can only get our own team to show up for one of these wins. Also, I did have to pick up refs fees for today's game. We can square up on that later...




Good show fellas, stats updated. 

GAME RECAP - 7/2 Vs. Beef Supreme

It was nice to see a few subs on the bench for UCHC's second game of the 2010 Summer C campaign.  Although hot and humid outside, it helps knowing you have the opportunity to take a break when you're tired. 

The lines were a little out of sorts.  We were missing our gunner Curtis.  Fehl is off in left field somewhere.  Seth was playing offense.  A few of us had a few beers prior to the game because of the holiday.  It was one big chimichanga. 

Things started out spicy when Beef Supreme's supreme offensive defenseman fired an order of Nachos Supreme at Dougy, and it sour-creamed it's way past his right boot. 

The rest of the first period felt like Chili-cheese - in a burrito, and it ended with us trailing like a Toxic Hell poop stain, 1-0. 

Shortly into the second Marky put us on the board and tied the game at 1 with a sweeping/reverse hard taco wrister that beat the opposing goalie like a chalupa. 

The rest of the second moved slower than refried beans.  I believe Beef Supreme snuck another churro past Doug at one point, but I can't remember if it was still tied at 1 at the end of two, or if they had retaken the lead, or if they had finished their Grande Meal.

They scored again early in the third on a botched avocado call, and we were again down by 2 jalapenos.  I followed one of their dudes into the penalty box to share a Baja Blast after each of us were called for highsticking. 

Someone threw a crunch wrap supreme pass to me as I exited the box and I toasted the goalie like a Grilled Stuffed Burrito. 

We poured it on like Nacho Cheese late in the third, many times controlling the ball in their zone for extended periods of time, but we could not beat the taco-meat, and the game ended with us as losers 2-3. 


We have a bye this week so don't show up.  The schedule has been updated and should be updated on the team calendar on the main blog page sometime today. 

Whomever assisted both Marky and I's goals please let me know.  I believe they were from defenseman.

CHARITY DONATION UPDATE:  The wife is going to take a picture of our team at our next game - reason being that with our donation of $66.00 to the Mario Lemieux Foundation and the submition of our picture, we will be part of the Mario Mosaic.  Pretty sweet huh?  Check out the website here.  

Take it easy brosephs. 

Remember to click the link below to go to the main site to check stats, results, and the schedule. 
   

  

UPDATED: Game Recap - 6/26/2010 VS Davis Cycle Sales & Team Fees Update

Quick update on team fees.  We had one dude back out this weekend, so we're down to 10 guys.  The amounts I collected were supposed to cover all of the team fees, ref fees, and charity for those involved.  I will re-calculate the fees.  The additional amount needed to make up for the lone defector, we will just split up in ref fees.  I'll break it down so that we are all happy.

$400/10 dudes = $40/person.  Ref fees are now $13/person ($130/10 dudes).  Charity amount is now $8.25. 

Seth and Dougy each owe $40 for league fees.  Doug paid $50 to the dek.  $10 of that will go toward his ref fees.  Doug owes $3.00 

Seth paid $50 to me.  We'll consider that as $40 for team fees, $10 toward ref fees.  Seth owes $3.00

Benny paid $60.  We'll consider that $40 for team fees, $8.25 for charity, and $11.75 for ref fees.  Benny owes $1.25.  Yeah I know dude, stupid.  Don't even worry about it, you have more than enough times made up for it paying ref fees and stuff.

Curt paid $55.  We'll consider that $40 for team fees, $8.25 for charity, and $6.75 for ref fees.  Curt owes $6.75.

Marky and Eric paid $50 and some change each.  We'll consider that $40 for team fees, $8.75 for charity, and roughly $3 toward ref fees each.  I'll have to work yours out later dudes, I can't remember if the check was for $111.51 or for $101.51.  Do you remember?

We still need payments by Nordo, Chad, and Fehl. 

So to you three, the new amount owed is ($40+8.75+13) = $61.75. 

Sorry fellas. 

Game Recap:

When you have not played a game in a little over a month there are two things you're hoping for:  cool weather and plenty of subs.  Although our glorious return to C league was without either of those, we prevailed and once again know what it feels like to be victors. 

During warm-ups we realized that the 4 other guys each of us were staring at who were wearing white were all that we had.  Zero subs on an over 90 degrees and over 90 % humidity day.  Normally this would cause some panites to bunch....BUT considering that our beloved Yanks were facing off against the starving and poor Ghanians those who missed were granted an excuse.

The other team, Davis Cycle Sales, had enough players to roll 4 full lines.  If they had even one decent player they could have made the game much closer than it was.  Sadly, in the alphabetic assembling of teams based on skill level, they belong in the E league.

We had zero subs in the first period and we were still controlling the play.  5 minutes felt like 15 minutes.  The dek is easily 10 degrees hotter than the normal air temperature.  Puddles of sweat were forming in the fingers of my gloves.  All of this and it's only June - wait until August.

Luckily for us Zirn showed up to watch a dek hockey game and decided to give us a hand.  Who does that anyway?  "Hey man, no sorry I can't go, I'm going to watch my cousins play hockey.  What's that?  No.  No it's not ice hockey - it's dek hockey.  Yeah.  Yeah.  Yeah they're really good."  That's as far as I'll go because he saved lives that day giving us the extra sub.

Nothing exciting really happened.  Dougy had a shutout late into the third period before I screened him and grandpa Davis snuck one in.  Seth was all over the place.  Zirn came on like a hard on early but then soon realized he is 10 lbs. heavier than the last time he ran this much.  Curt and myself walked back on sides for most of the game.  Benny was lighting dudes (and a chick) up like usual.

Actually I was the one who lit the chick up.  She tried to throw her 80 lb body around, so I threw it down, hopped over her, and proceeded to score.

Curt got hurt a few times.  Once in the nuts, once in the shin.  He also grabbed a dude around the shoulders and got to spend a cool minute in the box.

Some fat dude (no, he was like really fat) hugged me at one point.  And then he sold a motorcycle.

Doug lost 4 pounds.  Then he inquired about purchasing a scooter. 

Seth came prepared to intimidate with a thug demeanor but quickley shed the skull cap when he realized there wasn't anyone to intimidate.  Then he bought spark plugs for his Yamaha. 

Curt finally looked like "Curt," and not "Kurt" like he did all of last session playing in B league.  Then he bought two-cycle oil for his mini-bike.

Benny covers a 20 foot diameter with his stick.  He also bought a FOX Racing Jacket to wear when he rides.

Zirn was the gamesaver and MVP.  Then he bought the DVD for Xgames 2002 signed by Jeremy McGrath.


This is what I remember for scoring:

Tim - 2 goals
Zirn - 2 goals?
Curt - 2 goal, 2 assists
Dougy - 2 assists
Seth - at least 1 assist
Benny - 1 assist?

 Help me out dudes. Does that look correct?  Once we know for sure I'll update the stats page, which is accessed by clicking on the link to the blog page below, and then clicking on "UNCOMFORTABLE STATS/RESULTS" under UNCOMFORTABLE LINKS.

Final score 6-1 UCHC. We're 1-0.

Game is at 8:00PM next week boys, hope to see everyone there.

Season Review

Sometimes you eat the dek, and sometimes - well, the dek eats you.  We played the part of a 10 course meal for opposing teams in our first only session playing in the big, bad, B league.  To sound cliche, there were ups and downs - mostly downs.  Lots, and lots of downs. 

We had limited attendance.  We scored very little.  We gave up very much.  We played on Sundays.  We never had a single beer after our games. 

These and many other factors contributed to the lousy session that was Spring 2010. 

Was it our name change?  Possibly.  Anyone interested in changing our uniforms to something like this:

My new name would be "Mead Maiden." 

We'll regroup.  In the spirit of European football, we've been relegated.  Next session we're back where we belong in the "C"rappy League.  There are like 320 teams that play in the C league, hopefully we avoid playing any kids, moms, or nannys. 

Ok, this next bit of information is wild.  We have been tracking our goals this session for our "Goals for Charity" event.  After looking around a bit I decided that we would donate our charity to the Mario Lemieux Foundation, click the link for some additional information.  If you're a Pens fan you already know a lot about the foundation and what they stand for.  They are huge in the area, and a huge advocate for cancer research and a giant contributer to Austin's Playroom (named after Mario's son) to aid kids with autism.  I also figured that since we at least act like a hockey team (we don't always look like one), we may as well contribute our donation toward something hockey related. 

All of that said (and here is the wild part), we finished the session with 22 goals.  Donating $3/goal - our donation amount totals $66!  Sick isn't it?  So I'll simply tack that amount on to our fees for next session for those of us that were a part of the team for this session, and we'll continue the event next session as well if it's cool with all of you dudes.  Hopefully we'll be closer to an $87 contribution next session.   

A quick recap of last game:  we got badly outplayed by a bunch of scrubs.  We only had 4 regular players including Shoup in goal.  Luckily Dougy played and we picked up a couple dek rats.  The one dek rat Mark scored two goals, one assisted by Doug, the other by myself.  Mark also picked up the assist on our third goal that was scored by me. 

Final stats/results for the session are updated on the stats page here.  If you didn't know already, or you're too lazy to occasionally check the site for updates - the stats page is also linked at the very top of the page under "UNCOMFORTABLE STATS/RESULTS."  That link also directs you to the stats/results/awards archive from the defunt Random Lengths Hockey Club if you wanted to see how you and the team played 2 years ago.       

 

Still no word on if the last place team in the league qualifies for the playoffs.  Let me know if you find out or watch for an update on the site. 

Peace.