SUMMER SESSION 2009 AWARDS

The following are awards voted on by the players of The Random Length's Hockey Club. All results are final.

For the first time we actually had a few ties - although regarding the Art Ross, the NHL rules stipulate three tiebreakers in case two or more players are tied in points:

1. Player with most goals.
2. Player with fewer games played.
3. Player scoring first goal of the season (not sure what this means).

So Curt actually won the Art Ross - but he sent both names over on the email so I left it how it was - plus I like to see my name in print. 

Other than that, it looks like we had 1 first time winner and a couple repeat winners.  Congratulations go out to Nordo for winning back-to-back Lady Byng awards.  He is very gentlemanly. 

Next session starts in the next few weeks.  Pay Pott.

Art Ross Trophy-Most points scored at the end of the session.

CURTIS CAROTHERS/TIM REGES

The Maurice Richard Trophy-Team's top goal scorer.

CURTIS CAROTHERS

Hart Memorial Trophy-Most Valuable Player to his team.

CURTIS CAROTHERS/TIM REGES

Vezina-Goalkeeper judged to be the best at his position.

JOHN SHOUP

James Norris Memorial Trophy-Team's best defensive player.

RYAN GOLD

Lady Byng-Player exhibiting the best sportsmanship and gentlemanly conduct.

NORDY SILJANDER/DAVE

Frank J. Selke Trophy-Defenseman who best excels in the offensive aspects of the game.

TRAVIS REGES

Game Recap 9/19/09 Playoffs Vs. Cougars

BUTLER (AP) - The Cougars don't need to give goalie "Looks like a Baby but is actually really old" much help these days.  A strategical adjustment by 1 mohawk 0 girlfriends (1M0G) and a fortuitious shot provided exactly that.

1M0G's power-play goal early in the third period put the Cougars back in the lead and the Cougars had something to cheer about on a Saturday night for the first time in nearly five years, beating the Playoff snoozer Random Lengths 3-2.

"I'm afraid of grown men so I wear a helmet with a cage" scored the Cougars first goal, then set up 1M0G's game winner about 5 1/2 minutes into the final period with a cross-dek pass that 1M0G one-timed over goalie John Shoup's right shoulder.

"We switched me off the top power play unit because they were taking me away," 1M0G said, referring to a Random Length's defense that collapsed on him when he got the puck.  "You would rather have me shooting.  They did their homework.  They allowed me to shoot the puck a lot and I missed 49 of 50 shots, but I found a way to sneak one in."

Random Length's coach Justin Pott preferred to call it a soft goal rather than a sneaky one.

"They got a lucky bounce and when you talk about soft goals, that was one you would call a soft goal," Pott said.

With Old Man Baby making 30 saves to win his fouth in a row, the Cougars ended a 0-5 winless playoff run since they last won there December 2, 2000.

Carothers returned again Saturday after missing one game with Flu-like symptoms, but was held without a goal for the first game this season.

"We've been trying to get on a roll," Old Man Baby said.  "We almost let this team of scrubs beat us tonight.  I mean, only 3 of their players play on two dek hockey teams!  We can't lose to them.  They don't love dek hockey as much as we do," he continued.  "Look at our group of guys, there's only 3 guys on our team that DON'T play for 3 teams, and they at least play for two.  They must have lives or something, I don't know," he concluded.

 Tim Reges deflected a Brandon Fehl shot off of his foot to tie the game in the first, a rarity for a Random Length's team that normally does not score until mid-way through the second period.

"We had some good opportunities and the last couple of games we've been having a hard time finishing," said Length's forward Markie Reges, whose team has advanced past the first round of the playoffs only once.  "We're creating a lot but not finishing."

The Length's were short-handed for the majority of the game.  They also failed to generate any momentum after Tim Reges once again tied the score, this time at 2, when he converted a break-away late in the second.

The score may make the game seem closer than it actually was.  If not for defensive mastery by "Who's this Dave?", Pott, Erock Reges, and Goldie this game could have been a lot worse than it was. 

"I just love to play the game," Dave said.  "And don't ask me how I keep my hat on my head because most of the time I don't even know.  And NO, I do not use Bobby Pins!"

Shoup, who made a triumphant return last week from vacation, made 35 saves and was strong when the Cougars were on the power play.  "It didn't go the way I would have liked it to go," Shoup said.  "I don't think that's the best I can bring."

The Random Length's players tend to disagree.  "He held us in the game when we were playing poorly and leaving him out to dry," Nordy Siljander said.  "We continued to take penalties and Shoup stood tall.  It would have been a much different game without Shoup backstopping us.  Shoup somehow sees the play before it happens, it's amazing," Siljander concluded.

Tim Reges' 10th goal of the season tied the game in the second, and not long after Old Man Baby made the save of the night by throwing out his glove to stop Ryan Gold's shot into what looked to be an open net.  Old Man Baby had a 1.92 goals-against average in winning each of his previous three starts, 1 in each league, and 3 just on this day. 

1M0G put the Cougars up midway through the third with a wrist shot from between the circles that Shoup barely saw. 

Notes:  Random Length's leading scorer Curtis Carothers had an estimated 15 beers before the game...The Cougars scored a power play goal for the 18th in 19 games...The combined number of games played for each person on each team for the weekend - Random Length's - 13, Cougars - 76...Siljander, playing with a bruised foot, was also shut out for the game after scoring twice in his previous game.

Game Recap 9/12 VS Sasse Blasters

Sasse Blasters? Who in God's name thinks of these names? Is it one person that gets to decide? It must be, because I know that if I were on that team and I asked the captain "hey man, what is our team name?" and he responded "The Sasse Blasters - funny right?" I would upper cut his scrotum.

Pott was there with his usual scouting report and according to him their goalie was not that great. Fehl on the other hand plays in the B(itch) league with some of these dudes, including the goalie, and he said he was pretty solid. If you find that information positive or helpful - you are a better man than I.

Their one threat was a guy who also plays in A(ss) league and B(ite me) league and he is not allowed to play forward because of it. Inside sources say this guy's wife is a skank - I'm guessing she's just pissed because this dude spends his entire weekend playing Dek Hockey. Oh well, he made me eat shit on a goal and had a pretty nice shot, but overall he was very "meh."

They scored the first goal on a rebound, and the scored stayed 1-0 for most of the first. The RLs did not fret though, and there were positive thoughts (mixed with BO and sweaty glove smell) floating around the bench.

Sure as shit Pott makes Skank Wife's Husband chew the boards and makes a sick pass across the dek to Fehl, who then makes an even sicker pass to Curtis who buries it. 1-1 - and then this ass clown breaks and tosses his stick at Aunt Pam.

Now I'm ok with tossing your stick, I throw golf clubs all of the time, but you DO NOT throw your stick at Aunt Pam. I have some other Aunts that I may be ok with with getting hit with a stick - but not Aunt Pam.

I called the King Joke out on it the next shift and I seriously didn't think I would be able to play the rest of the game when he responded to my comments. He told me to "go fuck myself." I have NEVER had anyone respond to a lewd comment by telling me to go fuck myself. I mean, WOW, if there was an award for the most hurtful come-back of all time - THIS IS IT! I immediately felt my soul frown and my heart sink into organ hell. My legs fell weak and my back hair starting falling out. Once I regained my composure I thought about his response once again and pooped myself a little. This guy made Andrew Dice Clay seem like Mother Theresa. I'm going to have nightmares for the next 3 months about me fucking myself...my knee just turned the opposite direction and my left nipple turned black just thinking about it again.

He did try to pull a move on me in his own zone minutes later and I stole it from him and all that he heard as I whizzed by was the Random Lengths patented "laaaater."



We scored the next goal. Curt made a nice play out of the corner to Pott who took a shot which was blocked by the defender and then proceeded to pop up in the air and Tim smacked it as it hit the ground and beat the goalie and we then led 2-1. Run-on I know, this is a game recap not your fucking senior project.

Fehl then scored twice on some nice setups by Curt and we were in the lead 4-1. It stayed this way for awhile, and the interim was clogged with penalties on both sides. 2 v 3s, 3 v 4s, 3 v 3s, Pott getting elbowed and then dragging a kid down to the ground, Dave tripping Sappy Slap Stick King Cumback because the kid was trying to stick handle and Dave felt bad that he was making himself look like an idiot, and Fehl got a 2 minute penalty for saying "what?"

Yeah, you guessed it - Heroin Ref was there and his usual "I need a stamp bag" self. You know how us as dudes, we have that one tool in our toolbox that we just cannot live without (mine is a roofers square)? That one tool that is the tool above all others. The King Tool. The Master Tool. You know what I mean? Well this guy is THAT tool in the Douche Bag Toolbox. He is KING TOOL.


They did end up making it an exciting game near the end and the boys played well. Pott and Dave were sucking air. Marky's assignment for the last minute and a half was to cover SWH (skank wife's husband) and he made some very important blocks at the point.

Shoup was his usual solid self and he made some key saves late. We held on for the win, a nice win.

Stats updated on the link to your right.


Game Highlights:

• Fehl's girlfriend was boozed up and she ordered us to win and we obliged. We need people to order us to win more often.
  
• We played the entire game with 4 forwards and 2 defenders and Pott and "Who's this Dave" played fucking fantastic.
• Shoup is by far the most improved Random Length since our inaugural session. We were giving them space for long shots because he was gobbling them up all night.
  
• Fehl has developed his sliding into an offensive advantage. Although he was thrown in the box for sliding into someone tonight. Dumb rule that was only created because some guy said he blew his knee out and then was playing again in two weeks. I have bruises, bumps, scrapes, and dents on my shins and legs every week - are you going to take the sticks away next?
  
• For the last 5 minutes RLs were taint deep and we pulled it out just in time.
  
• Pott name-dropped and Polamalu is out 8-9 weeks.
  
• Marky blocked 34 shots again.
• Happy Birthday Marky.
  

Game Recap 9/5

Sorry for the delayed recap for this game.

Solid overall. Tim scored two playing with Fehl. That line could have had 14 more goals if Tim could pass.

The Nordo and Marky line played awesome though, and Nord finished with two and Markie finished with one volley off of his knee deflecting Nordy's hardest shot of his life out of the corner.

Defense played well and the fill-in goalie Mike held his ground.

RL's win 5-2 in a late game.

GAME RECAP - 8/29/09 VS. COUGARS

For those of you who didn't play, this team's name may give away how high on the douchebag scale they fall. The COUGARS??!! Really? The Cougars? I cannot think of one situation where this name is intimidating, awesome, or funny. Are they "cougars" like the animal? Sweet animal but stupid and unoriginal name for a Dek Hockey team. Are they "cougars" like middle aged women who dig younger guys? Not funny. Anyway you look at it they either 1) have a terrible sense of humor, or 2) gave the name very little thought and time. They were, however, douchebags. Big, soppy, rubber ones.

This one dick, for example, got to taste what a forearm full of freckles feels like when Fennell leveled him and myself at the end of the game. This...kid...was...a...DICK. I don't mean a dick in the "I make people hate me" sense - kind of like Curt. I don't mean dick in the "Hi my name is Richard, but my friends call me Dick" sense. I mean in the sense that this kid was actually a male organ, a penis, a dick. He has 1 mohawk and 0 girlfriends.

On to the recap.

We were short players once again, and the Head Marxist was reffing the game... once again. Get this - he was wearing a referee shirt! What an absolute piece of garbage. Before the game Pott claimed "guys, don't say ANYTHING," Head Marxist likes me. Fuck that Pott, who was the only person in the game to take a penalty? Who was the ref who called that penalty? EXACTLY. He does not like you and you should not like him. His idea of a good time is a concentration camp. This guy makes me never want to play at the township Dek again after this session. He also makes me want to brush my teeth like 6 times a day.

Anyway, we were short so we had 3 forwards and three defensemen and we did the whole rotation thing. It worked out ok but we were tired and hot and it showed late in the second period.

THINGS DID NOT START OUT SO WELL. *sigh* We were down 3-0 after the first period. They were making us look sloppy and stupid. We righted ourselves though and Fennell did some nice fore checking that led to the first goal scored by Tim.

We made it a one goal game on the next shift when Erock Reges made a nice play up the boards out of our own zone and got it to Tim who beat the defender and laced a shot top shelf, far bar.

We were in it, but we were missing some of our key players and we were getting tired. Shortly after they once again make it a 2 goal lead - and then 3, and 4, and 5.

Now down 7-2 we have our work cut out for us and only a short time to go. Pott jumps into the O-zone and makes a nice pass to Fennell who is standing between the circles. He fires one near side for our third goal.

Marky downed a bottle of whiskey the night before and he was a few seconds behind for most of the game until late in the third - he wins the face off in the offensive zone, beats 3 defenders, and puts a nice shot in on the far side to make it a 7-4 game.

Fennell scored another nice goal late in the third on a wicked slapper, but it was too little too late and there would be no more goals scored.

The aforementioned "dick" did play a pivotal role late in the game when he decided to fuck around with the ball behind his own net instead of playing with class and sportsmanship. He held onto it, Fennell went in and tried to take it, then I went in and he dug it out, and fouled Fennell (no call of course), and then brought it back. He was an asshole. Fennell and myself finally had enough and we went to give him a Pattim sandwich with extra dick in the middle, and Fennell ended up crushing not only him, but me too. He was fired up.

Erock knew a few of these dudes and they were high school ice hockey players. I don't give a shit what they were, if we have our normal team we beat these dicks without a problem.

2 games left and we're middle of the pack in the playoff race. If we win the last two we end the season 5-3-2. Not too bad, should get us an ok playoff draw.

Specific Lengths begin next week because of the cancelled games this week.

Random Lengths play at 10:00 next week.

Stats updated on link to your right.

Be sure to check out the post listed below. There is an awesome video at the end of it. Highly recommended that you grab your terrible towel and think about Mike Lange before pressing play.

Game Recap 8/22 Vs. Aztecs

Why in the world is Head Marxist reffing games anyway? Is Butler Dek Hockey hurting for employees so badly that they need to hire a washed up, 40 year-old Communist who still lives with his mom and has terrible hygiene? Seriously, he is such a joke he throws his "Ref" status around like he throws his tattered and oil stained Scorpions World Tour 1982 t-shirt into his mom's hamper. "Mom did you wash my Scorps shirt?" "No honey I'm sorry, I didn't get to your laundry this week." "But mommmmm...I have to change the oil and check the spark plugs on the Camaro." What a piece of crap.



Anyway, we had a shortened bench for our August 22nd game, and old T-Mike was delegated back into an offensive role.

Old Randall Shuler once again graced us with his jersey-less presence in net and because of it we had a 56% better chance of winning.

The game did not start out so well. Why does that seem to be a reoccurring statement in these posts? They took a 2-0 lead in the first period and they had us running around like a bunch of homos at an Astroglide Christmas party.



Their defense was tough. They continually stood us up at the center line and they were keeping everything in the zone.

Our biggest advantage - speed- was a non-factor. The Flying Hawaiian was enjoying a Luau on the dek and I swear at one point I saw him place a Lei over Curt's head and give his a kiss on the cheek.

One dude thought it was a skills competition and he made our D look silly a few times.

Any way you look at it they were in complete control of the game.

Curt finally got us on the board early in the second with a nice play by "Who's this Dave?" out of the back field.

Line two took the dek and Trav took off after a loose ball into their zone. Our speed finally prevailed and Trav beat the defender to the ball and played it to the middle. Erock Reges snuck in from the point and put a low-liner toward and into the goal.

Skillz McGee made us look silly off of the ensuing face-off and they once again took the lead. The score at the end of two periods was them 3, us 2, but you would never know that from the final score.

As stated numerous times in these posts - when Random Lengths score, they come in bunches. This is the story of the third period.

Tim and Curt got it going early and Curt tied the game on an excellent shot.

Trav then scored a highlight reel goal by beating a man along the boards, taking the ball to the net only to meet two more defenders, and then pulling a spin-a-rama and sneaking one in on a between the legs shot. He had his arms raised before the ball ever crossed the line.

Curt and Tim scored a few more times and then Goldie went on an offensive tear assisting on one and then putting in a goal of his own to put the game far, far, out of reach.

The game was called early because Marky was thrown out of the game by Marxist because he spoke something democratic, and the Flying Hawaiian thought that instead of us fighting (which we had no intent on doing since we were winning by 6 goals) we should all sit on the beach and share some coconut juice.



All in all, we came on like a hard on in the third period and showed that the better team should and will most times win.

Game Highlights

• Randall Shuler was Hasek good in net. He kept us in the game early when we had our thumbs up our asses.
  
• "Who's this Dave" covers an estimated 15 foot radius - standing still.
  
• Who would have thought that all of those nights spent playing the ladder game instead of going on dates would actually benefit Curt at some point in his life.
  
• Trav looks like an IRobot Roomba on speed when he's on the dek.
  
• Erock scoring in front of his super hot girlfriend.
  
• Goldie pulling an Urlacher and changing the course of the game.
  
• Marky's offensive defensive play. I think he blocked like 34 shots.
  
• Head Marxist is such a dick.
  

Stats updated. Game at 4:00 next week.

Game Recap 8/15 - VS Green Team

Do you know why they call it "swamp ass?" Have you ever had a case of "Monkey Butt?" How about "crotch rot?"

Imagine a 500 lb. man with all three of those ailments at the same time. Got it? Now, imagine that during this poor obese man's very painful encounter with an inflamed neath er-region, you are tucked up under his balls hanging onto his taint....do you have it? How does it feel? That is what it felt like on the dek and in the bench during our sluggish win over Green Team.


This team was not very good. They DID have not only 1, but TWO Shulers on their team....and anytime you have even one Shuler you instantly have a 56% better chance of winning.

The game started off very slow. Everyone was bogged down by the 23 lbs. of moisture in the air. It was one of those humid days that only us of the east coast can appreciate. If gravity were to change by a mere fraction we could all swim around the atmosphere like we lived in a giant fish bowl.

Fehl had a sweat stream running down his back as soon as he put his shirt on. He looked like he just jumped out of the pool every time he came to the bench.

This was a humid and hot game of epic proportions, and the Green Team was able to stay in the game because of it. We had to dig hard and deep to find the will to win this one, and it was going to have to come from an unexpected source.

The game started slowly as most of our games do. Shoup made some good saves to keep it scoreless in the first. Their goalie, a Shuler, got lucky as we clanged a few off of the posts and crossbars.

Both scoring lines were getting their chances, but because of two "right time right place" shots they had a 2 goal lead early in the second.

A rarity with Random Lengths was taking place, Tim and Curt were playing on the same line and they were making stuff happen.

Fennell got to play forward again and he and Fehl showed made a strong statement for continuing to play together for the rest of the season.

Finally the Shuler dam broke and Fennell blasted one in the far side to make it 1-2.

When the Random Lengths smell blood an onslaught normally ensues.

Someone sneaked a Mexican Jumping Ball onto the dek and Curt was having a hell of a time controlling it for a few minutes. The snake was beaten though as Curt was finally able to settle it and blast one home to make it 2-2.

Curt and Tim hooked up again a few minutes later and then Trav puts a shot in from the point through a screen, and RLs are suddenly the team leading by 2.

Green Team claws back into the game and they tie it with approximately 5 minutes to go in the game.

Hold that thought!! Curt takes the ball from the center line and is 1 on 1 with the goalie. Tim goes toward the net awaiting a possible rebound. Kent King, who works at the local gay bar and wears his sunglasses at night is running as close as he can to Tim, who then proceeds to slash his stick down onto Tim's, just as Curt fires a rifle shot over the near shoulder of Shuler to give the RLs the lead 5-4!

But wait! One of the worst calls of all time?! Yes Fat Ref, I understand that you ate only one baby today and you may still be hungry, but that is a bullshit call.

INTERFERENCE??!! on Tim, no goal, we are now short-handed.

Joke league.

Trav and this other kid decide that they want to play hard because they like to win and be good at things, and Fat Ref doesn't like people being good at things so he throws them out of the game for being "aggressive."

JOKE.

The game ends with us having 4 forwards on the dek hoping for a last second goal. We have like 7 faceoffs in their zone, and we put 88 shots on Shuler but we cannot sneak one in.

OT begins and everyone is tired. Gay Bar Kent and Bucktoothed Benny are chatting about how dumb they are because they attended Butler High School. I opted not to tell them that 90% of our team attended, graduated, graduated college, and now have jobs after their Butler Education - so we must have learned something right. I don't know where you learn to be a gay bouncer, but he must have thousands of dollars in student loans.

The first line makes some stuff happen but no dice. Tim and Chad Scuderi take the ball into the offensive zone, Tim around the net, out front to Chad - BAM! GOAL! GAME WINNER FOR SCUDS!!!! Let's get the fuck out of this heat.

5-4, game in OT.

8/1/2009 Game Recaps

Random Lengths II (FSC)

We ended up playing the same team we played last week in the Township league, with the addition of a few good men. They were definitely a better team with those additional dudes.

We also discovered why Heroine Ref seemed so inclined to make the game as difficult as possible for us last week, and it was because he actually plays for this team. He had to ref last week instead of playing on the account of him being down to only one stamp back remaining for the following week.

They came out with much more energy and skill, and it showed on the score board with us being down 3-0 after the first period.

As it was last week we started to play much better half way through the second, and after two the game was now 4-2.

We made it a one goal game a few minutes into the third period and it was seeming very similar to how things transpired at last week's game where we tied the score at 4 late in the third.

As it turned out fate was not on our side and they ended up being the team to score late in the third, once again giving them a two goal lead which ended up being the final score, 5-3.

They had a few guys on offense who could really move the ball, and our forwards were confused as to who was to get back on D and who was covering what man. We changed our scheme and it showed with them only scoring twice more after the first period.

They were playing a tight man-on-man style of D, and it showed with our two leading scorers Zirn and Sparticuss being held off of the score sheet.

They also had Artus Irbe playing goal for them and he made some spectacular saves, but in most cases was out-shone by Shoup who had nearly 50 shots come his way, turning aside all but 5.

Chad Scuderi made an appearance and his presence on the dek was felt by the opposing team almost immediately with them getting stopped short time and again.

They seem to have it in with these refs as well considering the constant and blatant obstruction by Ben Ba-Donk-a-Dunk and his teammates.

We can speed by any player on their team, and to stop us is to cheat, and that is exactly what they did.

We should have an easy win next week considering the previous results of our next opponent, but we should not take anything for granted considering the following outcome....

Random Lengths (TWP)

Absolute travesty of a game. We were 10 minutes away from getting an easy forfeit win, and we played as if the forfeit had already happened.

The play on both ends of the dek was atrocious. Our defenders were following the ball and not the man. Our offenders could not get a shot through if the opposition was sleeping. We played, looked, and smelled like crap.

Were we tired from playing a game only 3 ours before? If so we're more out of shape than we think because they played the entire game with only one sub. The way we played they could have doubled the score if they had more subs.

Fennell and Trav ended up playing as forwards because of lack of offenders, and the one high point of the day was that Fennell was able to at least put us on the board with what I think was an unassisted goal.

That's really all that I have to say about it. Final score 1-6.

Stats and results updated for both teams on the links to your right.

Random Lengths 7/25 Game Recap Vs. The Avengers

It was nice to have a full crew for our 7/25 game against Ass Avengers.

Erock Reges was in attendance. "Who's this? Dave" was also there, and Randall Shuler once again covered for us in goal on the account of Shoup's absence and Pott's missing ankles and knees.

This team did not seem to pose any sort of challange to the Lengths, which held on to be true all except for the addition of Heroin ref as their sixth man, and the fact that Marian Hossa's brother plays for them.

Seriously, didn't anyone have a needle or something for Heroin ref to hit before the game to put him in a better mood? Nice dude, you work full time as a Dek hockey ref, don't take your failed attempt at life or your addiction to an illegal substance out on us innocent players. Do some research dude.

Anyway, to our surprise the head Marxist is now also working for the dek and he was the second ref. He didn't cause any issues, but Karl was awfully quiet in his early years as well.



We came out and scored the first goal and things were looking good. Tim makes a play at the center line and gets the ball to Curt. Curt beats a defender and sneaks one in near bar on the goalie. 1-0 Lengths.

The game then took an unfortunate turn. They managed to squeeze some shots by Randall because of some unlucky bounces, and we were suddenly down 3-1 at the first intermission.

We held our ground though, and they only managed one more goal for the rest of the game.

Curt and Tim once again hooked up in the second with Curt making a nice play behind the net to sneak one out to Tim in front who poked it in.

Brandon also did some dirty work and put in a similar goal early in the third.

Nordo and Trav were all over the place but could not buy a goal.

The addition of Erock Reges and Dave in the back helped, and Pott had a few opportunities but we could not sneak one by their keeper (who was either playing very well, or getting very lucky).

Finally with approximately 2 1/2 minutes remaining, team leading goal scorer Brandon added to his lead with another gritty goal in front of the net. 4-4 tie.

The Nordo and Markie line finished the game and after some close calls in our own zone, they managed to get the ball deep into the offensive zone and create some awesome chances. Unfortunately not before the buzzing sounded, we're going to OT.

Curt and Tim started the offensive push in OT and they were close, but not close enough. We then took a penalty. We were short handed twice in a 5 minute overtime period with a running clock, and we still had more chances than them. Nord and Markie were all over the place and Pott and Brandon almost put the game away on their shift, but almost only counts in...well you know the saying.

4-4 tie. Next game is 8/1 at 4:00PM Vs. Red Russians.

Stats updated on the link to the right.

Specific Random Lengths II 7/18 and 7/25 Recap

We'll combine the two game recaps to save time, internet space, my lack of a memory, and my lack of attendance at the 7/25 game.

7/18

We had a few more subs than we had the first game, so things were immediately looking positive at the start.

The team we were competing against had won 8-0 the week before, and we had lost 1-7, so this figured to be a tough game for the Lengths.

It looked like it was going to be a long day when within the first 5 minutes they score and take the lead 1-0.

No fear, we gathered ourselves and began a tear of 9 unanswered goals.

Sparticuss Clover continued to show his dominance over lesser dek hockey combatants and he put away 4 goals.

The addition of Aaron Zirn was evident in his mastery of puck-handling and perfect passing.

By the end of the second period the game was completely in in our hands and we continued our dominance of the dek.

Shoup held his ground after a shaky first and only goal.

Final score 9-1 Lengths.

7/25

Did not attend this game but once again we got some key scoring from Sparticuss and Zirn, and some stellar goal tending from Shoup.

We won 2-1 in a tight battle of will.

Apparently Zirn made one dude eat his shit late in the third putting on more moves than May West (or Michael Jackson if you're concerned with copyright infringement).

Next game is August 1st at 12:00 PM.

Stats are updated on the link to the right.

Random Specific Lengths Game 1 Recap

Whether by fate or by divine intervention from the god of skinny punks, we once again began a session of Random Length's hockey playing babies and their dads.

We knew it was going to be a difficult ordeal. Our eyes were widened and our lungs hurt well before the drop of the ball because of the large contrast in size from the dek we are used to playing on to this one.

Only having 3 men on the bench did not help either.

We were all aggression in the first period, and the sights of our hands on our knees further emphasized how much different of a game it is indoors on the larger surface.

Although tired and in much worse physical shape than the non-pubes, we hung with them for much longer than we had expected, and we had some solid chances in the first period.

They snuck a few in and got some nice bounces, and Shoup made some really nice saves.

They scored a few more in the second and you could see our energy escaping faster than Trav leaving a gay bar.

If I could paint a picture of how we felt it would be of Curt standing in the face off circle after a goal against. His skin was pale, his shoulders sagging, his mouth hung wide open, and he had dark circles forming under his eyes. It looked like he had not slept a wink this decade and had just recovered from a romantic night in bed with satan himself.

Think about that one time that you were so tired that your vision was blurry, your lungs felt like you were breathing oxygen laced with glass, your penis had tucked itself away out of shear horror, and your legs felt like slinkys. How you felt was only half as bad as Curt looked at that moment.

We did score 1 goal in the second period. Nord and I attempted a nice give-and-go but the defender read me like his favorite Dr. Seuss book. Luckily Nord made a nice offensive-defensive play and the ball snuck out to Curt in the slot and he fired a snap shot past the goalie.

They scored a few more in the third and we didn't. We did however start playing a little better as the game wore on. It's a different game indoors and we took some time to adjust.

The overall consensus was that we really liked the larger dek and will definitely consider prolonging our time there.

6 (or 7) - 1, RLs lose.

Game Highlights:

*Shoup makes a save diving across the crease in the first.
*Shoup saves a definite goal by reaching behind him with his stick and poking it through his own legs so that he can cover it.
*Tim misses 3 breakaways (this is actually a lowlight and sadly a reoccurring issue).
*Tim did pull a sick half-moon on one of the dads leading to his second breakaway.
*Jefferson and Mark were awesome additions to the roster.
*Nord really looks like he belongs out there on that dek. I foresee amazing things.
*Fennell has good vision out of the back.
*Trav and Tim give-and-go in the first comes oh so close.
*Jefferson's slap shot.
*Curt smoked a bunch of dudes late in the second and was pulling his trademark "whoop"s. He then proceeded to stare down a pit-stained boy who was at least two feet shorter than him.
*Goldie being Goldie.