For those of you who didn't play, this team's name may give away how high on the douchebag scale they fall. The COUGARS??!! Really? The Cougars? I cannot think of one situation where this name is intimidating, awesome, or funny. Are they "cougars" like the animal? Sweet animal but stupid and unoriginal name for a Dek Hockey team. Are they "cougars" like middle aged women who dig younger guys? Not funny. Anyway you look at it they either 1) have a terrible sense of humor, or 2) gave the name very little thought and time. They were, however, douchebags. Big, soppy, rubber ones.
This one dick, for example, got to taste what a forearm full of freckles feels like when Fennell leveled him and myself at the end of the game. This...kid...was...a...DICK. I don't mean a dick in the "I make people hate me" sense - kind of like Curt. I don't mean dick in the "Hi my name is Richard, but my friends call me Dick" sense. I mean in the sense that this kid was actually a male organ, a penis, a dick. He has 1 mohawk and 0 girlfriends.
On to the recap.
We were short players once again, and the Head Marxist was reffing the game... once again. Get this - he was wearing a referee shirt! What an absolute piece of garbage. Before the game Pott claimed "guys, don't say ANYTHING," Head Marxist likes me. Fuck that Pott, who was the only person in the game to take a penalty? Who was the ref who called that penalty? EXACTLY. He does not like you and you should not like him. His idea of a good time is a concentration camp. This guy makes me never want to play at the township Dek again after this session. He also makes me want to brush my teeth like 6 times a day.
Anyway, we were short so we had 3 forwards and three defensemen and we did the whole rotation thing. It worked out ok but we were tired and hot and it showed late in the second period.
THINGS DID NOT START OUT SO WELL. *sigh* We were down 3-0 after the first period. They were making us look sloppy and stupid. We righted ourselves though and Fennell did some nice fore checking that led to the first goal scored by Tim.
We made it a one goal game on the next shift when Erock Reges made a nice play up the boards out of our own zone and got it to Tim who beat the defender and laced a shot top shelf, far bar.
We were in it, but we were missing some of our key players and we were getting tired. Shortly after they once again make it a 2 goal lead - and then 3, and 4, and 5.
Now down 7-2 we have our work cut out for us and only a short time to go. Pott jumps into the O-zone and makes a nice pass to Fennell who is standing between the circles. He fires one near side for our third goal.
Marky downed a bottle of whiskey the night before and he was a few seconds behind for most of the game until late in the third - he wins the face off in the offensive zone, beats 3 defenders, and puts a nice shot in on the far side to make it a 7-4 game.
Fennell scored another nice goal late in the third on a wicked slapper, but it was too little too late and there would be no more goals scored.
The aforementioned "dick" did play a pivotal role late in the game when he decided to fuck around with the ball behind his own net instead of playing with class and sportsmanship. He held onto it, Fennell went in and tried to take it, then I went in and he dug it out, and fouled Fennell (no call of course), and then brought it back. He was an asshole. Fennell and myself finally had enough and we went to give him a Pattim sandwich with extra dick in the middle, and Fennell ended up crushing not only him, but me too. He was fired up.
Erock knew a few of these dudes and they were high school ice hockey players. I don't give a shit what they were, if we have our normal team we beat these dicks without a problem.
2 games left and we're middle of the pack in the playoff race. If we win the last two we end the season 5-3-2. Not too bad, should get us an ok playoff draw.
Specific Lengths begin next week because of the cancelled games this week.
Random Lengths play at 10:00 next week.
Stats updated on link to your right.
Be sure to check out the post listed below. There is an awesome video at the end of it. Highly recommended that you grab your terrible towel and think about Mike Lange before pressing play.
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